Transitions are great teachers of our habitual, often unseen, unexplored approaches to decision making. Decision making is a powerful process that directs our lives, leadership & service. We’re making decisions all of the time. Small & Big.
When was the last time you reflected on your decision making process?
Choice is a power lever.
It’s the moment of movement in a particular direction. Today we’re flooded with options that can make our experience of decision making & our relationship to choice, muddled, overwhelming & confusing.
For those of us inclined to analyze, we can feel paralyzed by the vast options that permeate our choices. Barry Schwartz has coined this phenomenon as The Paradox of Choice.
For me, this awakens a deeper level of inquiry about what we believe about the process of making decisions.
Exploring Our World View of Relating
How we view & relate to ourselves; each other & life greatly impacts our decision making process. And, the degree to which we embrace the power of choice mindfully.
Our view of life is often labeled as our world view; our philosophy and or our life-paradigm. Whatever you call it, think of your view of life as a blueprint rich with your identity, beliefs, values & attitudes.
From a meta-physical perspective, we could inquire whether love or fear underpins our decision making process; whether abundance or scarcity drives our choices and whether the judge archetype of good, bad, right or wrong binds our perspectives, rather than embodying the experimenter who seeks to test & trial.
Polarity thinking is the by-product of separation. The either or is helpful in developing awareness. However, it is but an entry point of understanding along the journey.
A balcony view awakens an appreciation of the wholeness of life. The web of interconnections that are activated, whether we’re aware of them or not. As we begin to open up to considering our world view of relating; our approach to decision making & our dance with choice we’re then empowered to work with contrast in more constructive & enlivening ways.
Create Space: Pay Attention, Ask Questions & Learn New Information
Often we’re on the search for answers. Answers close space. Questions, reflection & new information opens space. Decision making during times of transitions are often best served with creating space. Space helps us to learn from where we’ve been; honour the ending phase & work creatively with the neutral zone of transitions. Space supports us to grow into new beginnings.
There are many modalities coaches & healers share with clients to support progress & growth. Powerful questions are among one of our greatest super-powers. And, for me, educating clients is an important step to awaken bigger questions. New information, experimenting with new perspectives & actions help to expand our inner dialogue. Paying attention to our inner dialogue is important. Paying attention to what we say and the degree to which this matches, also helps to illuminate roots of struggle.
This is a process not a technique. I envision it like tilling the soil in our spring gardens. We consider new information; bring awareness to what we’re saying to ourselves & others as important tilling exercises. This helps to awaken possibilities to grow through re-imagining & re-framing.
Astrology is a great invitation for connecting with the energetics of the moment. For considering a larger arc of life’s inherent principles of cycles and growth. It is a powerful gateway to engaging a systems approach to life. Messages that are reflected in the heavens facilitate symbolic sight. Archetypally this can help us to see the impersonal nature of what we experience personally. Bottom line, space is created. Space for contemplation, inspiration & conscious choice.
Ayurveda awakens our consideration of the interconnected nature of our body-mind-spirit as reflected by our great teacher, Mother Nature.
Once we’ve opened up space around our thinking about not just who we are & develop a deeper understanding of our decision making process, we’re left to wander & wonder in the deeper sea of “S”elf understanding. Its time to discover how to relate to our holistic nature for the sake of congruent decision making.
Reason, Intuition & Instincts
We live in a culture & work in professions where logic, external evidence & rationale approaches have been prized. For many, this has severed their relationship with their intuitive & instinctual nature. Our innate capacity to feel, to know, to sense. The impact leaves only one pathway to explore in our process of decision making.
We’re left to seek outside of ourselves for “the answer”. We look to the next book, person or study to guide our choices. This often shows up when the pressure of confusion, over-analysis & fear take hold. And yet, as much as good counsel, being open to another’s ideas, reflections by others are indeed supportive, at the end of the day, peace, satisfaction, success & revelations only take root when we’re aligned with our choice.
Have you ever followed the advice offered by another, only to find yourself awake at night feeling un-settled, frustrated, disappointed, angry or even bitter with the outcome?
I sure have. When any of these emotions show up for me after having tolled about a decision to the point where I subscribe another’s opinion as my own in my decision making, I know I’ve skipped a step.
Aligning Our Choices From the Inside Out
Learning how to align our choices from the inside out is a complete re-frame for many of us.
Women leaders in the healing & helping professions have historically been oriented to seek for what another needs, wants or thinks is the best course of action. In our dance of service, this is but one series of steps. It’s incomplete and over time can create an unsustainable approach to our decision making.
In some cases this diminishes our capacity to think for ourselves. We feel a constant hum of worrying whether we’ve done the right thing. We’re super skilled at consultation, cooperation and compromise. Our default of assessing our success becomes solely through the lens of the success of another. We compare and contrast and ultimately fall deeper into a cycle of confusion and self-doubt.
None of these states feels good, nor do they support our ability to navigate the river of transitions that offer an opportunity to grow.
Re-Learning Processes that Help the Body to Un-Learn
Part of re-learning how to engage our whole selves in decision making and becoming our own best counsel is learning to make friends with our body & emotions. As a CODE Model Coach™, I work with clients holistically to do just that.
You’re offered new information & educated to re-frame what the body is and what role emotions play. This isn’t a technique, rather an educational process that supports your re-learning of how to relate to yourself beyond your mind & thinking.
Having space to think more broadly is an important entry point. Learning new ways of considering the current moment opportunity & challenge of our life offers respite, relief & invites our inner wisdom to flow. We reclaim an inner trust. This generates a greater ability to listen, hear & act.
A holistic coaching experience offers a marriage to take place between the contrasting & varied aspects of our being we’ve divorced for too long.
If you’re ready to move beyond the spin of confusion and defaulting to the advice of others, then start your journey of coaching with me.
My approach is unique, vast & deep.
My goal is that you move from surviving to thriving. This pathway demands a new way of relating to choice, inside of yourself. Then, choice becomes your super-power to navigate life in the big & small transitions!