I have been on a hiatus from posting since embarking on my own recent transition back into the traditional health system. As with all transitions, the learning curve has been steep as I explore this new, lay of the land. This includes new people, new skills, dusting old ones off and embracing the impacts to the day-day activities that transitions inevitably “disturb”. My comfort zone is gone. This has been & continues to be both exciting and scary all at once.
It feels good to be lifting my head up. Pausing to reflect on what the past 8-9 weeks have entailed.
Honestly, it’s been a challenge. At times it feels like I’ve left a warm bubble bath & leapt into an icy cold stream. I can see how the lure of old habitual ways of being & doing have been activated. My nervous system has been running old pathways of survival and I have at many moments along this journey thus far, lost my footing. In the midst of this “career transition” I have also experienced loss of a loved one. There is something about the experience of death to raise the bar on what we choose to “dramatize”. It’s a stark reminder of the precious moments that life offers. Even the sh..ty ones.
It’s been a humbling and growing experience to be reminded of the powerful initiation of transition.
On one level the call is to approach things differently and yet, when all is uncertain and the context not stable, it is also important to sustain a level of self-compassion when I/we grasp for what once helped to re-ground.
As coaches, healers and leaders in the healing and helping professions, we’re often the first to drop the practices and activities that keep us strong and well. It is uber easy for us to defer and be in service of the other (person; group and or system), even at our own detriment.
Why is this?
This is a life-long inquiry for me personally & with so many colleagues and clients I work with. There have been times in my own journey where the motivation has been egoic in nature (e.g. I want others to like me; I want to help fix this, I want to do a good job so X) and other times it’s been a purely altruistic call. To be of service and help for no reason other than that’s what I’m inspired to do.
If I hold an astrological lens on this time, it is indeed a great call for all of us to be responsible. To be conscious of choices and their inherent consequences for both the ME & WE of any situation.
Self-responsibility and integrity are core themes for 2020. To dig in and clear a path for building foundations that are aligned with our real values. To develop a level of maturity that acknowledges both the seen and unseen of any situation. To cultivate an inner compass of comfort. Dare I say, strengthen our faith in something. To pick a lane and walk it with integrity, humility and self-compassion.
One of my favourite astrologers & teacher, Deborah Young said recently in one of her posts, this is a time for a strong mind + a soft heart. For me this is a personal mantra for 2020. For me there is great strength in softness. And as Marianne Williamson often says, sometimes Love says No!
This inspires me to share a question I have been engaging frequently during the past 8-9 weeks of my current journey of transition,
What is it you’re placing faith in? Fear or Love?
Maybe it’s my age and phase, maybe it’s simply a lesson for me right now to walk my talk with myself as I travel my path of transition with my business and work.
One of the most powerful learnings over the past decade for me has been the the power of AND. Whether in my health, relationships, career, finances, creativity, self-expression….the thread of honouring the non-dual space of AND has been and continues to be a new residence of freedom.
Freedom to be ME & Honour the WE.
I still believe we each have unique pathways of discoveries and lessons. Hence my choice to continue to stoke & tend my love of Astrology, the wisdom of Ayurveda, my meditation practice and my study of A Course in Miracles as the foundation builders for my life & work. These ingredients complement the day-day traditional “work” I respond and relate to. They are core builders of my foundation that help me remember the bigger picture and the ocean of life that expresses in waves.
What are your foundation builders for life?
Is it time to dust them off, maybe create new ones?
There have been many days where these have fallen off my radar, and I am grateful that I’ve come to see when they have. Riding the waves of transition can be bumpy. It’s been easy at times to hyper focus on the waves themselves and loose sight of the ocean. At these times it’s been easy to grasp for the short term strategy. For me, I dig in and work a ridiculous amount. Thinking just a bit more will be the answer. Exhaustion sets in, and the clear message arrives that I have lost sight of the bigger picture and let go of what I now know is mission-critical to my own foundation.
Honestly in this moment I feel no sense of self-judgement with either. Rather just a deep appreciation of the wisdom that lives in both. If I/we’re willing to examine.
My invitation today for those who are traveling their own journey of transitions is to stop, pause and reflect.
Here are a few inquires to contemplate:
- What am I experiencing and learning about self-responsibility?
- What is supporting me? What isn’t?
- What might be possible if I were to remember the powerful choice point of fear or love?
- How else might I view what I am facing today?
- What values, practices & attitudes will serve me to build a strong inner compass of comfort?